Let Me Explain: Solo Travel Isn’t Lonely, You’re Just Not Doing it Right

In my journeys across the world and even in dinner conversations with friends, I always get asked “Isn’t solo travel lonely?” And the answer is a resounding NO! Solo travel isn’t lonely, you’re just doing it wrong (or going about it wrong), let me explain. 

I’ll start by giving a few disclaimers. I’ve lived life as a single woman, living alone for over five years. I’m used to being alone and doing things alone. I also happen to be an extremely extroverted person, which admittedly is helpful in many travel situations. I’m also comfortable with silence and have learned - albeit through years of therapy- to sit alone with my thoughts and be okay. While all these things are true for me, I can teach you the basic things you need to help solo travel not only be less lonely, but extremely fulfilling. I was a teacher for five years and that experience makes me think that the best way to show you how to not be lonely when you solo travel is to give some good ole step by step instructions. Let’s get started. 

Step One: Get Used to Being Alone BEFORE the Solo Trip

This one may seem a bit obvious, but when you take a step back and really think about it, how often do you really take time away from others to be by yourself? Practicing being alone and doing things by yourself is something that some of us have to force ourselves to do either because we live with people, prefer to always be around others, or all of the above. Take yourself on a solo date for dinner and a movie. Grab a matcha and go to your favorite local bookstores. Get tickets to the show or ballet you’ve been wanting to see and go wander by yourself for a few hours. Get lost at an art gallery. Take a stroll along a body of water. Go on a hike. I think you get the point. Take intentional periods of time to be alone and practice being alone for longer and longer amounts of time. Being alone and enjoying it can take practice, or maybe it’s a much appreciated bit of respite. Either way, start here. 

Step Two: Get Comfortable Sitting with Your Thoughts

Traveling alone means long bits of time being by yourself in your own mind and body. Get used to how it feels to sit with yourself. This is a bit different from Step One because during this time you need to sit alone not doing any activity, just sitting with yourself with the intention of being in your own head for a bit. If sitting with your thoughts is something that sounds daunting to you, you’re not alone - it did to me, too. But I promise that learning to be at peace in your own self is so important, not just during the long plane or train rides during your solo travel adventures, but also for the quiet moments of life. You can ease your way into being comfortable sitting with your own thoughts by meditating, listening to some white noise, or doing a free write. Again, this is something that takes practice and the good thing is you can do this at any time throughout your day. Waiting for your dinner to finish cooking, while walking your dog, in the shower. Just set aside some mindfulness time ahead of your solo trip so that you’re better prepared for long bouts of silence. 

Step Three: Know Thy Self 

I truly believe that the reason I took to solo travel so easily was because I knew myself intimately and better than almost anyone else. I knew what I liked to do for fun, what I value, my favorite activities and hobbies, and my favorite foods. I was able to take this knowledge of myself with me to everywhere I traveled. I knew that I loved going to art and history museums, so you know what I do when I solo travel? Yep you guessed it, I take myself to art and history museums. I know that I love going on walks along the beach or river, so you know what I always find when I travel? A body of water to walk alongside. My favorite thing to do before bed at home is read and you can bet that when I travel, I read before bed. This actually reminds me that when I solo travel, I keep a lot of my routines pretty stable. At home I wake each day, get ready, have breakfast and drink a matcha latte. These are easy things I can take with me when I travel, too. Know yourself and your routines and take them with you when you travel. Sure it may look a little different, but you may be surprised at how many things you can take with you when you solo travel. 

Step Four: Say Hello

My top tip for not being lonely when you solo travel is to not be alone. Yes, all the other steps above are so important and yes solo travel is a great time to meditate and get to know yourself better. Luckily, two things can be true at once! Solo travel is also a great opportunity to meet new people from different places and different walks of life. Say hello to people you meet. Say hello to the person seated next to you on your train ride from Dublin to Galway. Say hello to people at your hostel. Say hello to the people in your tour group. Some of my greatest friendships have started with hello, including many friends that I’ve met whilst traveling. I know I’m naturally an outgoing person (though I still do get nervous making the first move), but I highly encourage you to find your voice and introduce yourself to the people around you. Most of my valuable travel memories happened because I met someone doing something cool and joined them. Say hello to people you feel safe with and start a friendship even if that friendship lasts only a train ride, an hour, or a moment. I’ve never regretted saying hello to someone while traveling and I have a good feeling that you won’t either. 

You Got This, I Believe in You

One of my favorite Tiktokers and podcasters, Mary Skinner shout out to you, says all the time on her podcast “If you’re lonely when you’re alone then you’re in bad company.” Reflect on that quote and remember that being lonely while solo traveling is often a temporary predicament and a failure to try something different. 

Happy wandering, 

Raven